What They See That You Don’t

“We know our actions speak louder than words, but what are we actually saying when we think we are being silent”?

When I taught my first undergraduate leadership course as a graduate student nearly two decades ago, one of the first topics we covered was Johari’s Window (Luft & Ingham, 1955). This simple quadrant matrix pairs things that are known/not known to you  about you with thinks the other know/not know about you.  The area I always found myself fascinated with (perhaps out of a combination of curiosity and insecurity) was the area of our behavior that is known to others but not known to us (our blind spot).

This the final installment of a three-part series on Questions Every Organizational Leader Should Ask. Click here for Part 1: If It Ain’t Broke, Improve It” and Part 2: “So…What do you do”? to bring you up to speed.

Part 3: What They See, That You Don’t

Whether you are leading a project team or heading a department the increased scrutiny that comes along with leadership amplifies your actions, decisions and perhaps least fair, your personal characteristics.  As stated above when looking at the framework of Johari’s window we all have things about ourselves that others see and we don’t. So how can take action to reduce our personal and professional blind spots?

While things we say out loud and many of our actions are communicating messages purposefully, other, more subtle actions we perform on a subconscious level that others pick up on and respond to.  We know our actions speak louder than words, but what are we actually saying when we think we are being silent?

To begin the process of getting at those things you may be communicating without knowing it, consider the following:

Commit to a five day period (one work week) where you can reflect on one question each day throughout each day.  Think of these as lenses that you wear all day and use as a guidepost for which to measure your actions.

• Day 1: What do my work habits say about what I value as a leader?
  • Does what I consider to be modeling a strong work ethic, model valuing efficiency over effectiveness?
  • Am I constantly on the go? Do I slow down to connect with colleagues?
• Day 2: What does my actions say about how I see our organization and our customers?
  • Am I constantly talking about documenting conversations making sure that we “cover ourselves”? (recognizing it might be necessary)
  • Do I trust those with whom I work? Senior leadership? Customers or constituents?
• Day 3: Do I act out of a place of security or insecurity?
  • Do I have a risk-adverse leadership style?
  • Do I find myself defending old ideas instead of considering new ones?
• Day 4: What do I really think about those who have made mistakes in the past?
  • Am I looking for the trend toward improvement or am I looking for further evidence to affirm what I already think of their reputation?
  • Am I seeking opportunities to teach or seeking opportunities to judge?
• Day 5: What is one thing that others in my organization may not know about me that, if I routinely shared it might help others?
  • Past mistakes/insecurities? How it felt to be new to the organization?
  • Does being a positional leader always mean having all of the answers?

The most difficult thing about attempting to see into your blind spot is that you have become use to living with it – it may be difficult to change (as habits often are).  Know that change does not need to be sudden, once you are aware of a previously unseen area, you can take steps toward gradual change.

Have you ever taken time for concentrated reflection within the context of your daily routine?  What other questions might you ask to help with this process?  Let me know what you think in the comments below.

Visit thyrone.com where you can read past blog posts and we can connect on LinkedIn and other media.  Follow me on Twitter @thyrone and if you are in the Columbus, OH area @careercolumbus.